Why Am I Here?

This is a question we should all ask ourselves from time to time.  OK., when we are dead we are placed in a coffin or “grave” and we don’t need to, and can’t, ask this question.  Yet the answer is clear, obvious.

It is not the same when we are alive and, well, living.

In life we are always at some place, physically mentally and even emotionally.  And let us not forget “spiritually” and never confuse spiritual with emotional, whatever they mean to you.  They do not spring from the same place, do they?

cropped-img_20161016_103028

The question still remains:  ‘Why Am I Here?’

Focus on the I.  The question is not about someone else.  It is personal. And the more we think about it, it is not even much about the place or situation.  It is all about… I.

20160601_083454

Why am I here?  For example, why am I here in the UK and not in Canada? Or Barbados? Or even some other country?  I could answer that one easily and say it is because of finances.  But hey, I have been homeless since coming back to the UK and knew that that was more than likely before I left Canada.  So why am I here?  If it comes to that, why was I ever here?  Why was I born here?

But that’s going beyond the brief.  Why am I here?  Because I could no longer remain in Canada even though there was a place to sleep bathe eat and I did not have to fork out the money for it.  Indeed I had none.  That was so before I left here for Barbados a few years back, and remained so when I then left Barbados for Canada.

If I had asked this question when I was in Barbados, the truthful answer would have been to die.  I was that ill and fatigued.

To have one last chance to see the beautiful country and people whom I shall always thank for giving me some of the best years of my life.

I called it a journey of remembrance, and expected to die, or ‘pass on’ as they say, giving thanks for the embrace of the sun sea and sand once more, and for the memories.

dscn0220Sunset, Barbadosimg_20160924_172725img_20161006_110735

 

dscn0851

It was one of the two things I desired most at that time.  At least I got one.

DSCN0068

 

But lo and behold, I did not die or pass on.  I actually regained a little health.  Then I had to leave what used to be the family house, and after my erstwhile benefactor who was sending money for rental and food strongly suggested I had better come to Canada not withstanding my job applications in Barbados at that time were seemingly about to bear fruit… what would I do until then?

dscn1150

So to Canada I went.  Besides, one has to show gratitude; and I was grateful.

Canada, a lovely place.

IMG_20170509_130923

If I had had my own money or place I would have been pleased to stay there much longer.  As it was,  I enjoyed the terrific Summer there and the terrific Canadians.  I would make Canada my second home right now (after Barbados) if finances allowed.

So yes, I am here in the UK because of finances.  I could not remain in Canada, and I could not go to Barbados.  I had to go back, back to where I was born.  Back to the UK … my country of Birth.

Why am I here?  Because I am who I am.

And why am I here in THIS particular place?  THIS studio flat? Perhaps the answer is the same: I am who I am.

And as the Bajans say:  “There’s more in the mortar than just the pestle”.  In this case you may take it to mean – who you are determines your raison d’etre.  And there is more to you, more to your life, than meets the eye.

I am here because am.

2 comments

  1. When you posed the question in the title of your post, I assumed you were referring to the purpose of human existence for which I have only suppositions, based on the religious beliefs of my early Christian upbringing.

    Then, your question became clearer when you write: “In life we are always at some place, physically mentally and even emotionally.” People close to us do get curious about our decision to live where we do, especially when it appears to them that we have better options, be it Barbados, Canada, or the UK, as in your case.

    I don’t believe in coincidences or chance. I believe that I’m here in the United States at this period in time because I have some important role to play in the lives of those around me and those whose lives I touch. Perhaps, you have some unfinished business in your birthplace. Blessings ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s