Dear Matey,

I am stumped! 

I have to keep this one short, as I haven’t got much time today.  My ex-wife is coming!!!!!

Yeah friend, somehow she found out where I’m staying and sent me a note that she’ll be here pronto!  Who the heck told her where I am? I wonder…

Anyway yeah, good ole Matilda is coming to Barbados. That’s right.   Only one way she coming here to a little island where the heat will melt her buttermilk skin–TO GET HER HANDS ON MY MONEY mate.  That means someone told her.  I wonder…

This is my private seat by the way.  This tree stump.  I found it here on the beach (not telling  where) and it is a godsend.  I sit here some days for hours just staring out at the big wide ocean. It’s got a hole where I stash my papers when I go for a swim.   Think I’ll have one now. Just to clear my head. I haven’t got much time.  I have to decide soon.  Once and for all.  Am I staying?  ‘Cause if I am, all hell could break loose… over there…   

But this new Mistress of mine, Barbados, really doesn’t want me to go.  And you know what Matey?  I don’t want to go either.  There.  I’ve said it.

Hehheh I wonder what the ‘Ex’ will make of her? 

Pray to God she doesn’t come.  Maybe a bug will get her.  Heh heh.

Check you soon Matey.  Have to go,

Mac